It's been over seven months now since I started working here. Funny how much things has changed. Or I should say how much I have changed. I'm not sure if it's a good change or bad change. A lot of my values have been challenged. Some of them I convince myself I'm believing in the right thing. At the same time, I saw how different my values/beliefs are with my friends'.

We are having two teachers in training now. One day, the guy asked me if I'm happy. Somehow we got interrupted before I could answer it. I didn't mind because I know if I tell the truth, it's not going to be a pretty answer. It feels like the storm is starting again. I identify with Elsa a lot. I don't know how to control this storm inside. To the question, I can only say I try to stay positive, but I don't (want to) feel. I thought it was a curse. Maybe it is. Or maybe if I look at it another way, I could change something. Maybe it's just I'm capable of feelings, but I don't see how this power will help make the world better. These feelings are not colorful. It's grey most of the times. At least I could say I've been to the dark side. Anyway, this time at least I'm not alone. I really like the movie Frozen. I don't believe in fairy tales, but the happy endings give me hope. Anna and Elsa are like the two sides of me. When they sing the reprise of For the First Time in Forever, it's like the two sides of me are talking. (Yes it does sound crazy!) The least I can do this time is don't shut myself out. If I can't love myself, how am I capable to love anyone? I promise myself I'll always be here and walk this journey hand in hand.