Yesterday was Timpview Thunder Ball. Two years ago, I started my open competition career there. It was fun to go back and see how much I've improved. (Yup, I'm those kind of people who love to look back to the past.) In 2009, I did Novice and Pre-Champ Ballroom. Yesterday, I competed in both Novice and Pre-Champ for Ballroom and Latin. I wish I competed in Smooth as well, but I don't think a partner. Yesterday, I could get called back for the final for the first time, but there was a 3-way tie so they cut out the remaining two spots of the final.
Oh I fell flat on my butt yesterday in Pre-Champ Quickstep. Ouch! That kind of hurt. I think Eric was doing a left whisk or something so I trapped over his foot in the back. I kind of stopped myself to catch my balance again, but obviously Travis didn't notice I got trapped and just keep pushing forward. The end result was I fell flat on the ground.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Last week was quite an eventful week, at least psychologically... Let's see what happened.
Monday started off terribly. We talked in the morning, and when the second we parted and went to our classes, I felt a tear dropped from my heart. It was so light that I almost didn't feel it. Maybe I'm just too used to it. My heart was broken because of him, but I was left alone standing by the pieces of my broken heart. Finally, I was able to put myself into piece again and mend my own heart. Now he turned back and wondered if he could have my heart again. I can still see his name on my heart, but I decide to keep my heart to myself. Haha now it's going to be really awkward between us. Oh well... what can I say? I have my reasons.
Tuesday wasn't that great neither. The ballroom practice and lesson were kind of emotionally intense. I was still quite upset in the morning practice so I kind of carried that mood in my practice. I was so frustrated that I almost cried when we messed up our Waltz run-through. Then in the lesson, Travis again didn't give me enough space in the Quickstep. I was trying to catch up and ended up kicking myself with the hardest part of my heels. Both Michael and Travis thought I was fine till they noticed I had to stand on one foot. I almost broke into tears when I was explaining what happened... again... partly due to the pain, and partly due to the frustration... I'm such a crier. For the rest of the lesson, I tried to just stand on one foot because it hurt to just put pressure on the ball of the foot.
The next day, I found the foot that got kicked swelled up, and that was the day I had my ballet mid-term video. Great timing, right? It hurt even more to put on the ballet soft shoes because the elastic string was putting pressure right on the spot. So what? I still have to dance. The joy of being a dancer... ;) And then I saw him in the hallway right after team. I was walking up the stair, but it seemed like he looked right pass me. It hurt. Luckily, he still said goodbye to me.
Hmm... What happened on Thursday? Oh Tuesday... my afternoon class was kind of cancelled so I ran into James in the wilk. It was fun to do homework together, and I actually know Arabic. Both of us guessed on one of the questions on his quiz, and I got it right. I'm just a good test-taker. In fact, it was totally multiple guesses for me. Lucky girl! And the way James said "in reality" in Arabic was funny. I love my friends! Back to Thursday... nothing really special, I guess...
Friday... another day of nothingness... I went to the International Cinema to see The Maid. That was quite an interesting movie, I would say. The way that Raquel acted was quite neurotic. What I learnt from the movie is that different kind of interaction elicit different kind of response from people. If we want to change someone, or get certain kind of response, we need to find the right button. The same thing might not work for everyone.
Somehow throughout the week, I learnt to get through the emotional struggle by myself. It felt quite alone at times, especially I didn't quite be able to get a hold of my emotional support group. He is just like opium to me at times.
Monday started off terribly. We talked in the morning, and when the second we parted and went to our classes, I felt a tear dropped from my heart. It was so light that I almost didn't feel it. Maybe I'm just too used to it. My heart was broken because of him, but I was left alone standing by the pieces of my broken heart. Finally, I was able to put myself into piece again and mend my own heart. Now he turned back and wondered if he could have my heart again. I can still see his name on my heart, but I decide to keep my heart to myself. Haha now it's going to be really awkward between us. Oh well... what can I say? I have my reasons.
Tuesday wasn't that great neither. The ballroom practice and lesson were kind of emotionally intense. I was still quite upset in the morning practice so I kind of carried that mood in my practice. I was so frustrated that I almost cried when we messed up our Waltz run-through. Then in the lesson, Travis again didn't give me enough space in the Quickstep. I was trying to catch up and ended up kicking myself with the hardest part of my heels. Both Michael and Travis thought I was fine till they noticed I had to stand on one foot. I almost broke into tears when I was explaining what happened... again... partly due to the pain, and partly due to the frustration... I'm such a crier. For the rest of the lesson, I tried to just stand on one foot because it hurt to just put pressure on the ball of the foot.
The next day, I found the foot that got kicked swelled up, and that was the day I had my ballet mid-term video. Great timing, right? It hurt even more to put on the ballet soft shoes because the elastic string was putting pressure right on the spot. So what? I still have to dance. The joy of being a dancer... ;) And then I saw him in the hallway right after team. I was walking up the stair, but it seemed like he looked right pass me. It hurt. Luckily, he still said goodbye to me.
Hmm... What happened on Thursday? Oh Tuesday... my afternoon class was kind of cancelled so I ran into James in the wilk. It was fun to do homework together, and I actually know Arabic. Both of us guessed on one of the questions on his quiz, and I got it right. I'm just a good test-taker. In fact, it was totally multiple guesses for me. Lucky girl! And the way James said "in reality" in Arabic was funny. I love my friends! Back to Thursday... nothing really special, I guess...
Friday... another day of nothingness... I went to the International Cinema to see The Maid. That was quite an interesting movie, I would say. The way that Raquel acted was quite neurotic. What I learnt from the movie is that different kind of interaction elicit different kind of response from people. If we want to change someone, or get certain kind of response, we need to find the right button. The same thing might not work for everyone.
Somehow throughout the week, I learnt to get through the emotional struggle by myself. It felt quite alone at times, especially I didn't quite be able to get a hold of my emotional support group. He is just like opium to me at times.
Friday, October 14, 2011
There are so many things I would like to put down, but I just don't have the energy to do so right now. Let's save most of them for tomorrow.
I talked to my mom again tonight. I guess I have a final decision. I just hate growing up. Why life has to be so complicated? oh and people as well... Actually people is the one who makes life so complicated. If I can just dance in my own world, life will be wonderful. Sometimes I feel like I live in my own bubble world a lot. Or maybe not? Interestingly, I picked ballroom, which involves A LOT OF partnering, as my goal when I get discouraged in social interaction so easily.
Oh and I LOVE smooth!! We had our Waltz test today. I think I did pretty good given I don't have a regular partner (nor an open partner to dance smooth regularly) in the class. Marci said I was making good progress from last year. I'm so happy about that. I think I'm starting to grasp the concept of power and performance, and now I just have to apply it.
Oh my! I must have been really tired. I almost fell asleep, and my hand slide off the keyboard. I got four to five hours of sleep for last week and most of this week, and given how much I dance (and injury myself). Plus school... And my body is trying to adjust to my braces. I definitely need more sleep than that. Night!
I want to hang out with my friends. I want candy and chocolate. I really want a slice of super moist cake right now. I want to pass out on my bed for sure! Therefore, night again!
I talked to my mom again tonight. I guess I have a final decision. I just hate growing up. Why life has to be so complicated? oh and people as well... Actually people is the one who makes life so complicated. If I can just dance in my own world, life will be wonderful. Sometimes I feel like I live in my own bubble world a lot. Or maybe not? Interestingly, I picked ballroom, which involves A LOT OF partnering, as my goal when I get discouraged in social interaction so easily.
Oh and I LOVE smooth!! We had our Waltz test today. I think I did pretty good given I don't have a regular partner (nor an open partner to dance smooth regularly) in the class. Marci said I was making good progress from last year. I'm so happy about that. I think I'm starting to grasp the concept of power and performance, and now I just have to apply it.
Oh my! I must have been really tired. I almost fell asleep, and my hand slide off the keyboard. I got four to five hours of sleep for last week and most of this week, and given how much I dance (and injury myself). Plus school... And my body is trying to adjust to my braces. I definitely need more sleep than that. Night!
I want to hang out with my friends. I want candy and chocolate. I really want a slice of super moist cake right now. I want to pass out on my bed for sure! Therefore, night again!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Last week was quite an amazing week. Monday was my birthday, but I didn’t celebrate much because I was trying to finish my paper that night. Plus, there wasn’t anyone that I could quite celebrate with. Katie and I went out for celebration the Friday before, and she works Mondays’ nights. It’s so fun to hang out with Katie, and I think she’s my best friend here in US. I love how I don’t need to censor my feelings and thoughts when I’m with her.
I had my braces on Tuesday. It didn’t hurt at first, but my teeth started to get sore at night. Therefore, I couldn’t eat anything solid for like two days.
We had our International Dance Lab on Wednesday night. I made quarterfinal for Gold Rumba and semifinal for Gold Foxtrot, when I wasn’t expecting anything from my Rumba partner. I danced pretty well for Foxtrot, and I wish Curt was grading me in the semifinal instead of my test earlier in the day.
Thursday… We had a Lindy practice for the Homecoming Parade in the morning. It went pretty well, and I started to feel good about that. D264 wasn’t too bad, but I’m just not good at instruments. What can I say more? Lesson was good, and I stayed awake for my Great Work Arts class. I don’t see anything I could complain about.
Friday was quite a good day. He finally told me what I had waited for an year and half, but I decided to give up on Monday already. A huge dilemma, if you may, and there is a whole lot of meat in the story that I can even tell. I felt pretty good about it on Friday, till I talked to my mom on Saturday though.
Saturday was the Homecoming Parade. I couldn’t believe I danced and ran the whole thing. It was so fun to perform for others, but my techniques were probably quite awful. Lol And I curled my hair for the first time. I love curly hairs. J The parade was followed with a lazy Saturday afternoon. I talked to my mom on Saturday, which was kind of like pouring cold water on a fire. I expected that anyways, and now it’s my turn to make the decision. That’s why I hate making decisions. Should I listen to my heart or my brain? Where does my personal happiness lay? Is it possible that I can see how the future will turn out for each path before I make my decision? I don’t understand life. There are so many in my head right now. I just love how every time when my life seems to going the way that I want or content with, somehow guy problems just love to cut in and stir up my life. Good job, guys!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Just an interesting thought...
Yesterday Yuri and I were talking about his TA job and grading. He said he took points off for what his students missed what should have been there. This was quite a natural opposite to what I believe. If I am a TA, I only give points of what the students answer correctly. I wondered if this grading style has anything to do with culture or belief in human nature. Somehow Yuri's style is saying that the students already have some points in their pockets, but some are taken away because what they've done/answered. Yet my students will never have anything in the first place. They have to earn their points. Is this kind of cultural view on human nature/reward system?
At least, mine kind of reflects how I view and interact with people. In my world, no one is trustworthy. I have a small scale inside my head, and what people do and say either add or subtract from the points they have on my scale. You have to earn my trust and friendship, and not until certain points, I will start to open up to you. But if you do something that I don't necessarily like or agree with, I probably will just keep track in my head and won't say anything. When my patient is all wear off, I will just leave and never come back again. Compared to some people who are more friendly and outgoing, the way I present myself probably sounds cool, remote, and not straightforward enough. I think so far around 6-7 people who I will let them into my world. Good thing or bad thing?
Yesterday Yuri and I were talking about his TA job and grading. He said he took points off for what his students missed what should have been there. This was quite a natural opposite to what I believe. If I am a TA, I only give points of what the students answer correctly. I wondered if this grading style has anything to do with culture or belief in human nature. Somehow Yuri's style is saying that the students already have some points in their pockets, but some are taken away because what they've done/answered. Yet my students will never have anything in the first place. They have to earn their points. Is this kind of cultural view on human nature/reward system?
At least, mine kind of reflects how I view and interact with people. In my world, no one is trustworthy. I have a small scale inside my head, and what people do and say either add or subtract from the points they have on my scale. You have to earn my trust and friendship, and not until certain points, I will start to open up to you. But if you do something that I don't necessarily like or agree with, I probably will just keep track in my head and won't say anything. When my patient is all wear off, I will just leave and never come back again. Compared to some people who are more friendly and outgoing, the way I present myself probably sounds cool, remote, and not straightforward enough. I think so far around 6-7 people who I will let them into my world. Good thing or bad thing?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Honrs 290R could probably be one of my best classes ever, but this one girl in the class is very likely to ruin the whole experience. Her presence kind of intimidated me quite a bit, and the worst part is she usually sits either right next to me or a seat across. We're in a small conference room so it's quite awkward to change seat.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Have you ever had those kind of feelings that you need to write what happened down so you can re-read it later? It occurs to me quite a lot, but I seldom write them down. One thing is I'm busy with other stuffs, and I usually start to write long long paragraphs, instead of a few sentences, when I start recording what have happened. I end up not writing anything, yet I want to be able remember those memories in future. So here's what I'm going to do. Just a few sentences for what's worth noting down. I'm so sad I didn't put anything down for quite a while.
Dance 264 was so hard today. I think I'm going to fail the class if I relax just a tiny little bit. Music and all its theories are just overwhelming in a VERY negative way. Sometimes I wonder how I can dance when I don't get along with all these meters, beats, and etc.
So I asked Curt if he could be my mentor for my Honors Thesis before I left for Vegas. The answer I got today was no, yet I got a few book titles on research being done on ballroom. Some readings for me, which I would love to read! I haven't wanted to read something for a long time, probably since I've come to BYU. It's good to start reading again.
I got my Smooth shoes today!!! =)
American Heritage doesn't seem to be as hard as I thought. Dance 264 is what I'm worried about the most for now.
Oh and I scheduled an Orthodontic appointment in two weeks. Fingers tightly crossed!!!! I hope miracle has happened in the last 4 years. Please keep me in your prayers! I really really really want to have braces, especially now I want to be a professional dancer. I actually gave up the idea of having braces already when I came to US, but this idea came to me again when I was talking to Yuri about dentists few days ago.
Dance 264 was so hard today. I think I'm going to fail the class if I relax just a tiny little bit. Music and all its theories are just overwhelming in a VERY negative way. Sometimes I wonder how I can dance when I don't get along with all these meters, beats, and etc.
So I asked Curt if he could be my mentor for my Honors Thesis before I left for Vegas. The answer I got today was no, yet I got a few book titles on research being done on ballroom. Some readings for me, which I would love to read! I haven't wanted to read something for a long time, probably since I've come to BYU. It's good to start reading again.
I got my Smooth shoes today!!! =)
American Heritage doesn't seem to be as hard as I thought. Dance 264 is what I'm worried about the most for now.
Oh and I scheduled an Orthodontic appointment in two weeks. Fingers tightly crossed!!!! I hope miracle has happened in the last 4 years. Please keep me in your prayers! I really really really want to have braces, especially now I want to be a professional dancer. I actually gave up the idea of having braces already when I came to US, but this idea came to me again when I was talking to Yuri about dentists few days ago.
Monday, August 15, 2011
4th Anniversary!!
I've come to US for 4 years by now. I wouldn't say life has been great and happy, but I did learn a lot. I become more refined and intelligent. My first year living in US wasn't that great at all, and I wasn't aware of that at that time neither. My first year at BYU wasn't terrible, but you know it's just the same routine everyday. School was all I could do. I started ballroom in my second year and met a lot of people. I started to socialize and make friends as well. Believe it or not, I didn't have any friends for my first two years living in US. Therefore, I'm really grateful all the friendships I have right now. Somehow I've convinced that I'm not likable so I'm quite amazed why everyone is so nice and friendly to me, especially I'm not proactive in socializing at all.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Today was BYU Summer Dancesport!
I was sitting down after I came back from lunch. Steven sat next to me and ate his. We watched and talked about the competition and dance. He made a comment saying I'm more of a Latin girl than a Ballroom girl. And he thought I was on back-up team or something like that. At that time, my only reaction was like that ~> =0=
oh and I wore my hairpiece today. That's different than the one I posted on Facebook. I just barely finished it, but it looked awesome. =)
It felt like a lot had happened today, yet at the same time I couldn't really count any major significant events.
p.s.: I would say this has been a pretty intense summer, both physically and psychologically. I think I have changed quite a lot. Good thing or bad thing?
I was sitting down after I came back from lunch. Steven sat next to me and ate his. We watched and talked about the competition and dance. He made a comment saying I'm more of a Latin girl than a Ballroom girl. And he thought I was on back-up team or something like that. At that time, my only reaction was like that ~> =0=
oh and I wore my hairpiece today. That's different than the one I posted on Facebook. I just barely finished it, but it looked awesome. =)
It felt like a lot had happened today, yet at the same time I couldn't really count any major significant events.
p.s.: I would say this has been a pretty intense summer, both physically and psychologically. I think I have changed quite a lot. Good thing or bad thing?
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