Happy Thanksgiving! Except this post probably would have nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is not a Chinese holiday anyway, plus I couldn't eat anything. Let's not focus on it so I won't let my saliva drip onto my keyboard.

So I don't really have a partner now. Travis told me he wanted to dance with his fiancee the day after my last post. Then when i talked to Karl, he said depend on how his school load next semester and if he makes Gold II Latin next semester, he might or might not dance open Latin since that's not his major focus anyway. I asked Jordan if he wanted to do open ballroom, but he said he didn't have time. He is putting a lot of time in Latin. Well of course, I asked him because he's one of the very dedicated dancers and without a ballroom partner. I'm kind of tired with lazy partner right now, and I don't know who I should ask. Maybe I'll just practice and polish my technique, and then we'll see what happen next semester. I might just ask people from my classes.

I realized asking people to be your partner takes courage, and you need to be very shameless and guilt-free. If someone refuse you, just move on. Don't take it personally.

It's getting closer to the end of the semester. Besides all my finals, I have 3 more papers, plus all the endless tests in my dance classes. Don't get me wrong! I love my dance classes, but I just have tested so many times that I realized that I couldn't cram for those classes at all. That probably made me less nervous when dance tests get close because there's nothing I can do.

Gonna come back again... Nap time for me...

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So why did I need to take a nap? Well I got 8 teeth, exactly 1/4 of all the adult teeth, pulled yesterday morning. I slept really well yesterday when the anesthetic still hadn't gone away, but then I couldn't sleep at night. I tried to control the bleeding of the extraction sites by sleeping in a sitting position, almost. It didn't work very well. I woke up at 6a, had some applesauce, and then I had my antibiotics etc. Then I iced my cheeks for like 3 hours so the holes wouldn't bleed that crazy. It kind of worked. Now they might ooze a little bit here and there, but not enough to look like I would die soon.

This time was a really interesting experience. My visiting teachers, home teachers, and nursery leader fought for the chance to give me ride and make sure I have soft food at home etc. Sister Jewett brought me pretty flowers. Sister Dabb dropped me off at the surgeon's office and asked if I wanted her to stay the whole time. I politely refused because I was afraid that I would start crying if she did. For some reasons, I wasn't scared about the operation till an hour before that. I got really anxious and scared. I felt really alone, even though I knew I got a lot of support from my family and friends. And when I am on the edge of crying, I can't stop my tears if someone starts being kind to me. Their kind words and acts will touch this softest part of my heart, and then my tears will just keep running out. Therefore, I'm kind of glad that I didn't let Sister Dabb stayed. I think I learned to be so independent that I only dare to let several people know my fears and tears.

A week or two ago, I was talking with my family, and we kind of talked/joked/chatted about future of all us children (my brother and I). My mom kind of joked that I wasn't always listening to her advise because I decided not to go to graduate school. She said she always thought I should get at least a Master's degree so I could have a future of some sort. I wasn't that happy to hear that at the moment. Later, I cried when I thought about it even more. It hurt when people you love and respect so dearly do not approve what you love and feel passionate about. My mom still thinks I should not choose ballroom as my career, but at least she understands my passion. I don't know why I feel so sad about this though. Anyway, I did start to reconsider my future plans again. I started looking into a Dance/Movement Therapy MA degree. I don't think I would want to go for a PhD degree at all. If I actually want to go back to psychology graduate programs, my option will be either DMT or sport psychology, which BYU offers none of them. That means I would have to stay at BYU till Fall 2013 by the earliest, and then go to other states and study for a few more years. I don't know what I would choose right now, but I think I'm a little bit sick of school (mostly papers, readings, and exams). And maybe mom won't be that disapprove about me dating him. Oh well... life is so complicated...